"I am a slow walker, but I never walk back" - Abe Lincoln

Gio has been making so much progress lately. I like to think of it as a little developmental "growth spurt." He's trying to talk more and he is a lot more social. We've had a couple of family parties and instead of locking himself up in a room, he comes out and tries to mingle with our relatives. He still isolates himself a little, but he is more willing to be a part of the crowd versus shutting everyone out. He now tries to say ojos, nariz, boca, orejas while pointing to the corresponding body part. He also says rojo, verde, Azul, and zapatos. A long with words he already knew like all done and mas. Gio doesn't wait to be prompted as much anymore. During his speech therapies, he gets to use a device, which we are waiting on our own to use at home, and he can express what he is feeling when asked. He is a lot more loving with people he may not see everyday where as before he didn't pay them any mind.

Gio has also learned to ask for things. He sees commercials on TV or movies of toys or other movies and he points and says "this?" That's his way of saying he wants it and can he have it. One morning, my cousin Ana and I were sitting at the kitchen table when Gio comes up to me with an Ad booklet from Walmart. It had all the Black Friday sales, and Gio was trying to choose what he wanted. So he turns to the page with the toys and he points to a Hot Wheels race car set that cost $89.99 and said "this?" My cousin and I laughed and I said in Spanish "No! You're crazy that's too expensive." I didn't think he would really put two and two together, but he did. So he turned to another page with a smaller race care set that only cost $39.99 and said "this?" My cousin and I were both shocked, but laughed at how he had a back up plan. I couldn't say no to his witty comeback so I said, "Si mi amor. I'll get you that one." He sighed and said, "okay," put the booklet on the table, pushed it towards me so to say "don't forget mom," and walked away. We both laughed and were just amazed at how serious he was and how understanding he was of the situation.

A couple days ago, I told Gio his dad was going to pick him up in a little while and if that was okay and he said "okay." He ran to our room and I assumed he forgot because he didn't come out for a while. Eventually, he came up to me and pointed to his feet and told me "zapatos" (shoes). He wanted me to put his shoes on so he could be ready for his dad to pick him up. Things like this show me how much he is maturing and progressing. He asked for a "naranja" at my moms this morning and when I couldn't figure out what he was trying to say he ran up to the fruit basket and pointed saying "this." Gio uses "this" for a lot of things, but recently he has been trying to say more words. I also recently noticed that if a movie isn't in Spanish he will only watch the first 10 min or so of it, unless it's a favorite like Mater's Tales. He also loves watching silent cartoons, for example Tom & Jerry. I'm assuming it's because he can relate. His teachers have been very good at learning Spanish words in order to work with Gio at school because I did explain that that is what he seems to understand the most.

Gio is so independent and clever. He never fails to make me laugh. I'm enjoying his little growth spurt so much! Everyone around us is too. They comment on the things he is doing and the changes they've noticed in him. Our family especially enjoys how social he is becoming. I am excited to see what the next few months will bring. (:

Why?

It's been a very busy year for us. There have been many changes to our lives which is why I hadn't updated on here. I recently came to the conclusion that I have been in denial of Gio's condition, which is why I stopped writing. At first, I thought writing would help me cope. I thought I was advocating for my son and his rights and I thought I was bringing awareness to an issue not many are aware of. I did these things because I thought I was in acceptance of my son's condition. I was wrong.

Of course I support my son and I will never stop being his voice. I thought that I had come to accept that my son's life would not be easy, but who's is? I thought that I was doing things because I had accepted the challenge that was given to us, but that was not the case at all. I believe I did the things I did because as a mother it is your instinct to fight for your child. You fight for their happiness, their health, and their future. When they told me Gio had Down Syndrome, they told me he needed therapies, he needed to be seen at the Down Syndrome clinic twice a year, he needed shoes with insoles and he needed to have a diet particularly high in fatty foods. I did these things not because I had accepted the news and was ok with it; I did it because Gio is my son and it was what needed to be done for his own good. It's like when your child is getting a cold. You see the symptoms and you can see something is wrong. You take them to the doctor and the doctor prescribes medicines. With the busy lifestyles the majority of us lead we don't stop and think "My child has a virus I should stop what I'm doing for the next two days and give my full attention to him/her." Especially if you have more kids. What we do is we give them the medicine and wait for it to go away. Sure we stop for an hour or so to baby our sick child and tend to their needs, but we don't fully process the fact that our child is sick. Perhaps it's the fact that a cold is so common, or perhaps it's because we refuse to accept that for a moment our child has become weak. We want to believe our children are invincible, as well as ourselves. We don't usually take the time to really process events that could cause some sort of interruption in our busy lives. That is how I felt. I did the things I needed to do not because I saw my child with a disability, but because I was told that was what NEEDED to be done.

Now with this same obedience, I will do whatever it takes to make my child's life "easier" or more "normal," for lack of a better term. I've mentioned before that Gio's biggest struggle is with communication. He only speaks if he is prompted and he still needs to learn that he can ask for thing without crying. He says basic words and is now learning body parts and colors. This has been very difficult to accept. I don't spend too much time with other kids his age so when he makes progress I get excited and think "Gio's not that bad. He's going to talk. It's just going to take some time." This was my denial.

I recently started a new job where I only work 3 days a week. This allowed me to truly open my eyes to what life really is like for not only him, but me as his mother. My biggest fear is for him not to be able to communicate something so simple, such as "I'm hungry." I have been fortunate enough to keep him in a little bubble of protection from the "real" world. He is always accompanied by someone who is able to figure out his needs. The problem is he is getting older and I will not be able to keep him in that bubble forever. This is when it hit me. MY son HAS a disability. My son WILL face adversities that are not typical for a child. With this realization, also came the realization that I have not been able to grieve the situation. Some might think "Why would you grieve? You have your child, it could be worse." Yeah, it can, but it's not. This is what it is and this is a difficult situation. I've learned that your child doesn't have to be physically gone for you to have something to grieve about. In the poem "Welcome to Holland," the author, Emily Perl Kingsley, perfectly describes the loss a parent feels when you find out your child has a disability. I've read it over and over and over again. But I recently read it a few days ago and it had a whole new meaning to me because I have finally accepted my loss. I have also learned to see what I have gained in this situation. The loss isn't something that needs a funeral or anything like that. It is a loss you deal with on your own. It is to accept that it is not your fault. It is to see that despite all the plans you had for yourself and your child, the universe has a way of showing you your plans are meaningless. This realization has also helped me see the depth of Gio's need for me to be in a good state of mind always. One can say, every child needs you to be happy, but a child who cannot talk needs that so much more. They need so much more patience and they need you to WANT to learn them. It is truly a bond that words cannot express, literally. People have complimented how well I can read Gio's emotions and needs, but this ties back to my fear. I don't want Gio to become too dependent on me being his interpreter to the world what he needs and how he feels that he doesn't motivate himself to learn some form of communication. Luckily, his therapist has suggested a talker device. This device will talk for him in a sense. But the concept of holding a conversation past just expressing his basic needs, is something Gio still needs to learn. According to his diagnosis, however, Gio has a "permanent and severe expressive speech impairment." This is not saying that Gio will never be able to verbally communicate, but rather it means that he will not be able to hold a conversation where he can express emotions and opinions on particular topics. His speech will be to express his needs more than anything else. Reading that diagnosis broke my heart. I want nothing more than for Gio to come home from school and not only tell me how it went, but to tell me how he felt. You don't realize how much something means until it is not available to you. I use to get so annoyed by my little sister's stories about how some girl didn't let anyone else play tether ball during recess because she thought she was the best. But now that I've been told Gio isn't going to be able to tell me those stories makes me appreciate them so much.

A few months back, my cousin (who's son has Autism) and I were at a friends house watching the ESPYs, and they had given an award to football player, Devon Still of the Cincinnati Bengals because his daughter had been diagnosed with cancer at a young age and he started a foundation to help children with cancer. Our friend asked my cousin and I if we had the option to change what our kids have in exchange for cancer would we do it. My cousin didn't hesitate in saying YES. I was a little shocked. How could you trade a disability for a terminal disease? My argument was how could you say you rather see your child go through chemo and being hooked up to machines giving them drugs and dealing with surgeries rather than what we dealt with. Sure we took our kids to therapies, and sure our kids have to stick to certain routines, but in my mind at that time it wasn't THAT bad, there wasn't a possibility that they would die from it. My cousin immediately expressed that if there was a cure for his son's condition he would take it in a heartbeat. That was it. The pure possibility of being cured was enough because as far as our boys are concerned, their condition is permanent. There is no chemo or medication that could take away Gio's extra chromosome. At that moment I didn't agree. Of course it was all hypothetical, but up until now I didn't realize my cousins point. There is no doctor in the world that will tell me "Here is a possible solution to cure your son and help him lead a healthy, normal life." Nothing is guaranteed, but I've come to see that having the option of a cure is one hell of an option regardless of the situation.

If someone came up to me and said, "This will help diminish your son's condition or just help him talk" believe that there would be little to no hesitation on my part to accept their solution. After reading the diagnosis that Gio now carries, I pray and hope that somewhere there is our chance not necessarily for a cure, but just a chance at one day being able to take a walk with my son in the park and have a conversation about how beautiful nature can be and how big the world is. To sit outside on a summer night and have him ask me why there are so many stars and why are they so bright and why does the moon hide sometimes and why life is so mysteriously beautiful. I hated the "why" phase when my sister was younger. She wanted all the answers to fill her curiosity and I would get frustrated because I didn't have them. Now, I crave those "why" questions, and one day that craving will be fulfilled because one thing I will continue to be in denial of is that my son will not hold a conversation. Gio WILL talk. It'll take A LOT of work, but I was raised to prove people wrong.

Recycling the things you learn.

I remember when I was in fifth grade my teacher, Mrs. Harvey, told us that she was going to teach us sign language. We all thought it was weird since no one in our grade was deaf or even used sign language. Mrs. Harvey explained that a few years back she had a student who was deaf and taught Mrs. Harvey and the rest of the students in the class sign language so that she could communicate with them. So she taught us the alphabet; she made us say please and thank you; we learned how to say bathroom; and by the end of the year we were expected to sign the pledge of allegiance with out saying it. I always thought it was pretty cool, but I couldn't help but wonder "When will I ever use this?" Why do I need to learn to communicate with my hands when everyone around me can speak and hear fine. Of course, Mrs. Harvey realized that some of us didn't understand why she was forcing us to learn such an uncommon skill, especially in our small town where everyone knew everyone, but she reminded us that we never know when we could use this skill. She explained that just like some of our parents needed us as translators because they don't speak English, one day we might run into a situation where we want to communicate with someone who can't talk. I'm not sure about any of her other students, but she couldn't have been more right with me.

Gio is four years old and still has a very limited vocabulary. He's learned a to say a couple more words like "no" (which he uses frequently lol) and Cruz (my brother's name). He's been doing more syllables than words. He seems to hum the syllables of whatever word I say. He tries to mouth mama and papa. He signs milk and juice very well. He says more without the sign and when hes hungry he will sign "eat" without being prompted. So he has made some progress. Slowly, but surely we will get there. There are days that go by and I don't notice that he doesn't tell me what went on at school that day, or that he didn't eat because he was angry. I don't notice that something is bothering him, or even that someone might have made him mad that day. I don't notice that he doesn't explain to me what he sees out the car window and instead of going to his great-grandpa's house he wanted me to turn right so to go to his grandma's house instead. There are days I don't try to read his mind and we both kind of just go with the flow. He doesn't stress out because he can't express himself to me and I don't push it. But then there are weeks that I tell him every morning to have a good day at school and to be good and don't forget to share with his friends when they ask. There are times I ask him when I pick him up how his day was and by his expression I can kind of guess it was an extra good day or just a regular day. Most of the time I'm watching him to guess what he is looking at and imagine what he is thinking, what he is feeling. Most days are pretty good and I can guess at 90% of what he wants or needs. I enjoy these days the most. I dread the days where he's just as frustrated or more than me because he feels something or needs something and cannot tell me what it is. He is very impatient and sometimes his days exhaust so much so that he rather be left alone. I want nothing more than to take him out for lunch and have him tell me what he's thinking. I've had a few people ask me why I let him watch so much cartoons. Why I allow him to play on his tablet so much. To answer this, I allow it because it is when he is most at peace. he is at peace with his movies and cartoons because he can imitate them over and over. He isn't frustrated by not being able to explain himself because he just reflects what he sees. If the characters are playing he plays, if they are singing he pretends to sing, if they are dancing he dances, the characters are happy so he is happy. To me this is the way he socializes because there is no expectation of him needing to respond to someone. He can't tell another child what he wants to play or how they made him feel so he isolates himself. As much as I know movies aren't what is best for him to be doing, that is the only time my son has that he feels social. I will continue to push him to communicate with others, but I will not take that away from him. Recently he asks for someone to sit and watch the show with him. He wants you to imitate it with him. That is him asking to play. I love that he asks for someone to be with him. Especially after the rough days where he isolates himself. Gio is like any other little boy who just wants to have fun. If that means I watch the first 5 minutes of The Croods over and over for an hour then so be it.

My dad had also taught us a sign when we were younger. He taught us "I love you" in sign language. When he first did it I said "No, that is for rock'n'roll." He laughed and said showed me the sign for "rock'n'roll" and he only had his index finger and pinky up. When he signed I love you he had his thumb up, as well. My brother and I nodded in amazement that my dad knew how to say "I love you." I remember even asking Mrs. Harvey if that was really how you say "I love you" and she smiled and said, yes. So after that, whenever we would see eachother from far we would sign "I love you." When my dad would drop me off at school he would sign and I would reply. When we would go to Mexico and we visited my grandma's grave my dad would do the sign as we left, and anytime we passed by the cemetery we would all do the sign. As I got older, we wouldn't sign to eachother as much. My dad would do it at us once in a while and we would just laugh.

Although Gio doesn't speak, he tries to mouth "I love you." When I'm dropping him off at school I'll tell him "I love you papi" and he will just move his mouth as though trying to say it back. I taught him to sign "I love you" just as my dad had taught me. He does the sign very well and will do it if someone signs to him or says "I love you." One night, we were laying in bed ready to fall asleep. He seemed to have been talking to himself saying "bravo." He usually says this when he's done something right or after signing "I love you." When he signs "I love you" his hand and your hand have to touch before he says "bravo." Now he usually holds my hand when he is falling asleep, so I didn't think anything when he was search for my hand. But when he finally grabbed it he would say "bravo." So I turned to see what he was doing, and I saw his hand making the "I love you" sign. He had been trying to sign to me before falling asleep, but needed our hands to touch before falling asleep. It was so beautiful to know he finally grasped the meaning of the sign. I made the sign as well and our hands met right before he finished by saying "bravo." He then leaned over to kiss me and fell asleep hugging my arm. There are very tough days, but moments like those are what keeps me from giving up.

gRowing up

It's been a while since I've posted, but A LOT has happened. Gio finished his last school year strong, learning how to follow instructions in a group setting and being social. We had some concerns there for a while because he was very anti-social, getting weird habits (like not liking blue socks or having to drink from certain cups or needing to sit in a certain chair), and he is sentive to certain sounds. It's not that it had just started happening, it was just that I had started paying more attention to how often it happened and it was becoming more noticeable. He wasn't very good with eye contact either especially when someone was talking directly to him. So I had talked to my cousin, who's son has Autism, and he suggested I get him evaluated. Although it wasn't very extreme, it didn't hurt to talk to his doctor. So I made an appointment immediately. I started doing research on kids with double diagnosis of Down Syndrome and Autism and was very overwhelmed and intimidated. Both of my mom and Gio's dad's mom went with me to the evaluation to give their input. The evaluation was quicker than I expected.The psychologist gave me good news at the end, that although she did have some concerns she didn't feel Roberto was Autistic. She explained that Autism and Down Syndrome have many similar characteristics and that it gets difficult to say a child has both. She said her main reasoning for saying he wasn't Autistic was how affectionate he was towards me. The lack of eye contact was concerning, but she told me that if I worked with him he could eventually learn to make eye contact especially when something is directed to him. His senstivity to sounds and people may not go away, but we can work with him so that he learns to cope with his surroundings. She said he was adorable and from what she saw he was making good progress. The only BUT she really gave me was that because he is mentally around 18-24 months she didn't want to completely eliminate the possibility that he could be Autistic. Autism usually starts showing up around the ages of 2-3 so she wanted to re-visit with us after his 4th birthday and see how he was doing, but she said that as long as we kept up the good work she felt he would stick with the single diagnosis.

That was back in April/May, and since then Gio has done so much better, socially. We visited my family in Mexico and even though he is usually shy with people he doesn't know, he hugged and kissed everyone he met as though he knew them all his life. He did not have one tantrum the two weeks we spent there and he played with everyone. He ate very well and wasn't stressed over his surroundings. I was so worried he would panic about being away from home and his routine, but he was perfect. He had a lot of fun, and even while we were on the rode he behaved very well. He had his moments, but they were not what I expected.

He started school August 19. He is in the special education classroom for preschoolers. The first day he was a little shocked and scared about going. His dad and I dropped him off and he went in without crying. He looked so grown when he walked out of the classroom holding his folder with his name and he said goodbye to his teacher and blew her a kiss. The next day was harder he cried and held on to me when he saw his teacher and cried because he didn't want to go. After that, everyday he will say hello to his teacher, grab her hand, and say bye to me. They teach him sign language so that's awesome! I taught him how to say "I love you" in sign language, and he's learned how to say water, ball, play, book, and car. His teacher has told me that he is very shy in the classroom, but that little by little she is seeing more of his personality and he is stepping out of his shell. He had his first homework assignment, and I was way more excited than him lol. It was to make a little poster about him. Things he likes, his family, his favorite movies. I think his dad and I had more fun than he did.


I'm very excited for what this school year will bring. The sign language makes me feel confident that soon my son will be communicating with me. I want to hear about his day in school. My sister asked me the other day "Does Gio have any friends at school?" I hope he does. That would make me very proud and just overall happy. (:

The hard part about it.

Today is World Down Syndrome Day. It's our second year joining in on raising awareness and stopping the ignorance. Last year my Gio's Godmother was off and she spent most of the day with him. I had a short day so we all went out and ate and hung out when I got off of work. We wore our blue and yellow and they wore their crazy socks. I work at a bank and my dress code didnt allow me to sport crazy socks during my shift. I didn't really spread the word last year. It had only been a month since we received Gio's diagnosis and it was all still new to me. Even today it gets hard to think about what I should respond if i decided to show off my crazy socks and someone asked me about it. I would say it was on behalf of my son who has Down Syndrome and then they would look at me with a pitiful expression on their face and say how sorry they were and maybe ask questions about him. I'm not too reserved when it comes to needing to tell people about my son, but, although I've tried to advocate awareness, I haven't necessarily been a spokesperson for Down Syndrome. 

It has still been very hard to think of myself as part of that group. I can talk about my son and his delays and I can go on and tell everyone about his diagnosis and how I am relieved we finally have an answer. I can freely say my son has Down Syndrome without being ashamed or embarrassed by it. But I have not yet fully grasped the idea of being a part of the Down Syndrome community. Not that it's a bad thing or anything I just haven't processed the fact that that's where we are a part of now. Most people have the luxury of finding out either during pregnancy or at birth. Yes, I said LUXURY. I didn't get that. I spent my son's first year and a half thinking he was "normal" just a little lazy. I blamed myself for not pushing him enough. I took for granted that my sister had reached her milestones mostly on her own and expected the same for my son because, well, everything was fine. He had weird habits and was a little delayed, but there was an excuse for everything. He started walking late slowly being a little more independent, but something was still off. At the age of 2 and 3 months was when we I found out I was a mother to a child with Down Syndrome. Imagine. Almost 3 years including pregnancy and having no idea. I agree that everything happens for a reason and I agree that his disability didn't change who he is, but it did change a lot of other things. It changed how we do <i>certain</i> things no matter how much we try to say it doesn't. It does. It changed what I felt about myself, it changed the idea of what i thought was my son's future, it changed even the way we care for him. I can sit here and pretend everything is normal, but it's not. It doesn't mean he is incapable at all, it means no matter how much we want to push aside the idea of a disability it will always be there. It does not define him, but he HAS it. It is still very fresh and i play it over and over again. I didn't get to know from the beginning. I didn't get that LUXURY. And, although, I have gotten more comfortable with this whole situation, I still need time to grasp it. I will always do what I can to help my child and to teach those around is despite my denial. 

I love being a mom more than anything I have ever been. I love knowing that whatever I put into being a mom is exactly what I'm getting back. It is the best investment of my time, by far. Gio is so full of life and hilarious and his charisma is so enlightening. Everyone who meets him loves him even when he's in a bad mood. The Down Syndrome has just given us a detour in our life journey. I know most of the time I write it sounds depressing, but I pinky promise I'm very happy being a mother. The grief of losing control over what I thought my child's future would look like is a little heartbreaking at times, but he is a perfectly loved child. It still blows my mind to think he is already 3 years. These have been the most challenging and amazing three years of my life. And i honestly wouldn't have been able to get through anything without Gio. He is my rock and my strength. To think such a tiny person is capable of doing so much to make me grow is incomprehensible at times. He can't even speak a full sentence, but he has me stepping out of my comfort zone wearing weird socks and advocating equality among those with Down syndrome and those who don't have it.

The more I think about what we do to raise awareness the more it makes sense. Crazy, mismatched socks can be uncomfortable for some people to wear and even a little weird for you to see someone wearing them. It isn't something "normal." You look at someone with mismatched socks and ask them if they had trouble getting dressed or if they don't own an actual pair because well a "normal" person wouldn't do that on purpose. Some of the reactions you might get are pretty similar to the looks people with Down Syndrome get. Why do they look the way they do? Or talk so different? A "normal" person doesn't do that. Yes two mismatched socks keep your feet warm they don't magically stop being socks just because they don't match or look a little diefferent. Just like people who don't look "normal" still have feelings, still have minds of their own, still do what they supposed to do. Just because it might make you uncomfortable doesn't mean they aren't doing what they are meant to do. I don't believe in the saying "God gives special kids to special people." I am no where near worthy of being Gio's mother. I think special kids are more like angels meant to teach you what being a real person really means. I believe we as parents are the lucky ones, to be blessed with the opportunity to see the world with a more pure and real perspective. All parents learn from their children, but a parent who truly learns how to make those around their child with a disability, for lack of a better term, better people; that is the parent who has taken their seed and nurtured it into a beautiful, strong tree. Today, and every March 21st to come, I hope you join in with us in raising awareness. To those who want to be a part of the world, not physically, but emotionally. They want to be seen for who they are, not they're Down Syndrome. Wearing the colors blue and yellow and crazy socks isn't even the hardest part about it, but it makes a huge difference. 

http://youtu.be/Ju-q4OnBtNU

Acceptance

My mom wrote this a while ago, she wanted me to share it and I just kept forgetting lol.


Today, as I sit in class learning about the different impairments that affect children's literacy, I vaguely hear the work Down Syndrome. I withdraw because I'm still in denial! As Im physically present and barely hear what they're saying, I have all these images of Baby Gio: his birth, hugs, kisses, struggles, and so forth. I come to realize how unique he is. I come back to class and I continue to hear stereo types of children with Down syndrome; I'm the shy type of person who only shares if I have to or is asked to, but this time I could picture my baby to be reminded he didn't fit that criteria. I stood up before the special education teacher to tell her that not all children with Down syndrome are the same. She said children with Down syndrome are born to mothers who are in their late thirties to early forties. I couldn't help it, I stood to up and said, "I disagree!" Every body looked at me in shock. I proceeded to explain that my daughter at the age of 19 gave birth to a child with Down syndrome, but not the typical Down syndrome....mosaic Down syndrome. I continued to explain what Mosaic Down Syndrome is. I'm typically shaking and will usually lose my voice when talking in front of people, but not this time, Gio was in my head the whole time giving me the strength I needed. I am proud to have had the courage to share his story and give him a voice letting people know there is no stereotype for children with Down Syndrome. I shared his story without crying; I think I'm beginning to accept that he is and will always be unique, but, you know, who isn't? We all are in different ways.


I know Gio and Karla will be faced with many challenges in their lives, but I also know that he's extremely charismatic and has the intelligence to get them through those challenges. My baby is very smart, he only has Down syndrome and that will not keep him from achieving his goals. He is stubborn like his mother. I love you baby Gio from the time I found out you existed and you have given me the strength to fight and face challenges I'm not use to. You are and will always be first, then your disability. There I said it.....his disability and although it breaks my heart, I know it doesn't change what I feel for him! I am proud to say I'm your grandma!

3:21

It's been a while since I've updated this and that's mainly because we've been pretty busy. Gio started school in February and that was very stressful and exciting. Would he understand the teachers? Would he let the other kids push him around? Would he have a panic attack about something and the teachers won't be able to calm him down? The night before all these things kept running through my head, but I knew that if I pushed this back any longer it would only hurt him. His first day of school was February 3rd. I got him all dressed up with his backpack and his lunch box. When I parked he saw kids playing on the playground and he got really happy. He was excited when we were walking throught the school halls, he kept saying "woooow" as he stared at all the artwork on the walls. It was a little heartbreaking when we were in the classroom and he said Bye to me. The teacher didn't want me to stay the whole time, but he was fine so I figured it was best, anyways. My dad came and we waited for his first hour and a half of school to be over. When we got to the door, we could hear him playing and having fun. My dad was watching him through the window and said he was about to get mad because the teacher wouldn't let him go play with a toy across the room. Right then, we heard him screaming and crying. Luckily the bell rang and class was over. He saw me and ran to me, his teacher explained what happened and I just laughed it off, he's not use to it yet. She agreed and said with time he'll get better and that he was great throughout the rest of the class. 

Gio's class is called beginnings and is only and hour and a half on Mondays. This is easy and difficult at the same time. It's easy because it's a small way to transition him into a classroom. But it's difficult because the classes are so far apart that I don't think he understands that it isn't just a one time thing. Especially when they have days off like President's Day, he had a hard time going back. It's a special program for kids who couldn't quite make it into the fulltime Specials classroom. There are only two other little boys along with Gio. It isn't a "normal" preschool, but I was fine with that. I did agree that Gio needed to keep seeing a speech therapist, but after 3 they prefer to put them in a classroom so getting him to therapies would be more time consuming, being that i work full time makes that a little harder. Plus school is going to happen one day regardless so why not give him a head start? The program for once a week felt right. Next year Gio will be in school full time Monday thru Friday for 3 hours! I'm anxious and nervous for that too. It will still be a Specials program where a speech, occupational, and physical therapist will meet with the kids weekly. There is about 8 or 9 kids and 3 teachers apart from the therapists. He will also get I think 30 minutes a week of being in a "regular" classroom, where there are 20 kids and 2 teachers. That part is what is going to keep me worried. Once we cross that bridge though, it'll only prove how strong and independent my baby is.

Gio hasn't really expanded his vocab anymore. Except he learned to call his Godmother "uhna" for Tana and he calls my sister "meh" for Karyme. He loves his aunties haha. Sometimes he calls his uncle Ivan, van. He's quite the character. He loves to make people laugh and he can almost eat a whole bag of popcorn by himself, thanks to me 😄. He learned how to jump with both feet! Thanks to Goofy from Mickey Mouse Clubhouse haha. He can also take off his shirts and jackets and he loves baths. Everyone who knows him loves him. He's so innocent, but smart. He catches on quickly and imitates everything. He's been to the playground of few times and he can climb up by himself and goes down the little slides. He use to be scared of the inside playground at McDonald's and now i can't get him to leave haha. He's matured so much it's amazing to see how far he has come. I wonder how he would be if we hadn't found a diagnosis for him. I'm so thankful for the doctors at Children's who helped us. The education the doctors have on the type of Down Syndrome he has is limited because it is so rare, but the fact that they didn't just dismiss him as a delayed learner means a lot. Even though, we don't like to introduce him as a little boy with Down Syndrome or even call attention to the fact that he has it doesn't mean we don't acknowledge it. We are very aware of his delays, but we celebrate his milestones even if he accomplished them a little late. 

March 21 is World Down Syndrome day. My son has extra chromosomes in 22% of his body. We don't know where we only know to be cautious and that whatever he needs will be done. Just because it isn't 100% doesn't mean we can push it to the side as if it's nothing. I want to raise awareness for all those with disabilities because even though it doesn't define who they are as people it defines their struggles and how people perceive them. If there were more awareness we wouldn't be so scared or awkward about these situations. My son was lucky, for a lack of a better term, that his physical characteristics don't make him look like he has Down Syndrome, but whenever people see someone like that they pity them and their families and that's not the case. Stay educated and be aware of those around you. We all have flaws and we all have struggles. It's not what happens to us that breaks is down, it's how we handle it. 

On March 21 for World Down Syndrome day the way to raise awareness is to wear crazy socks. Mismatch them, get weird patterns, or wear 3 socks instead of two for the third chromosome. Whatever way you want to do it. It's something fun and silly and it'll get people's attention and you can explain it to them when they ask what's up with the crazy socks and that's how it starts. Take pics and spread the word. It's a simple act that'll make a huge difference.